Hey there! Today’s post is a brain dump of all the things that are on my mind lately.
First, we are still dealing with this post hurricane Matthew mess. Our crawl space filled up with water so we have to have it cleaned, duct work removed and new put back in, and have our AC unit replaced. We won’t have AC for another week. It really isn’t too bad though. The house is staying pretty cool. Paying our flood deductible on the other hand, makes me want to throw up. Definitley not the way I wanted to end my last couple of weeks on maternity leave.
Speaking of that, I go back to work in a week and a half. It’s bitter sweet. I am excited to get into a normal routine and have some independent time. On the other hand, I will be sad to leave this little guy. I can already tell he is a mammas boy and I hope he isn’t sad all day when he is in daycare. Also, I feel a little guilty about going back to work. For me, it is easier to go to work then to stay at home with the kids. So I wonder, is that why I am a working mom? I tell myself it’s the financial aspect, but maybe it’s more for selfish reasons? Mom guilt is a powerful thing!
Tucker has been so fussy the past few days. In particular between the hours of 5:00 and 9:00 pm. I had him on a great schedule, but since the hurricane evacuation, he is totally unpredictable. Sometimes he will only eat 2 ounces, sometimes he wants 7, sometimes he will sleep for 15 minutes and sometimes for 3 hours. I feel like I just don’t know what he wants. I even took him to the doctor thinking he was sick, but he isn’t. I feel bad for Matt too because Tucker has basically been crying every second Matt is at home in the evenings.
Kids are hard on a relationship for sure! I don’t just love Matt, I am really really IN LOVE with Matt. I think he is the absolute best, but man, kids will try to turn you against each other. When you are frustrated at the kids, you can’t take it out on them, so you take it out on your spouse. I have also decided that kids bring out the absolute worst in you sometimes. They take the small flaws you had before and magnify them. With all that, I feel so lucky to have a spouse that understands me and really loves me to the core…no matter how tough life can get.
Totally random, but growing up I was obsessed with the X-Files. OBSESSED. In my bedroom I had an antenna on my TV so only got a few channels. At night the X-Files would come on one of them and I got hooked. This was about the time my parents were going through their divorce, so I was probably a little more suseptible to anything that kept my mind busy. Well, as some of you may know, they just had a 10th season, years after the 9th aired and I recorded it to save for maternity leave. I just finished watching all the episodes and am SOOOOOO bummed it’s over. It was so good and brought back so many nostalgic feels for me. Amazing something so creepy can make me feel so secure/at-home. As soon as that intro music comes on, I think my blood pressure lowers a few points. If you watched it, what the heck was that ending??? I NEED TO KNOW!
That’s all I will make you read today. My mind seems to be occupied all the time laltely, so it’s nice to write some of it down and get it out of there.